Wednesday, December 7, 2005


"I could never imagine u were so sadistic," said the Stranger.

"I don't know who you are..but I guess now you know," said I.

"It doesn't matter who I am, know thyself!"


That’s it. Then, it was sealed. Thirty years of development as an individual. The learning, the experiences, the vices, the virtues, the formation and deformation of spirit that has been happening ,perhaps, for numerous births, was suddenly categorized, packed neatly in an adjective "sadistic" and dispatched.

Now, I have pigeonhole of my own in this world! Sadistic, I am called. Some people are sensitive, some are funny, some are fearsome, but me? I am sadistic! Suddenly, my vices are magnified, my virtues, carefully wrapped and I am presented as a member of this category to which none other than Marques De Sade belonged!

You might ask me, what does it matter, what a stranger calls you? I would say, it doesn't! I am what I am, regardless of what anyone calls me. I do not need to explain myself or apologize for who I am, to anyone. But isn't it intriguing how fast we are ready to draw conclusions about people, based only on one facet that we see and which appeals, perhaps, only to us?

Is that how we think about individuals around us? Do we always think in terms of categories that they belong to, just so that we can device a strategy to behave with them? Rap the sadists, love the sensitive, don't take the funny seriously, bow before the fearsome - are these rules of life? Are these the rules of engagement? Is this a defense mechanism or is this a fundamental human flaw?

As individuals, we are all gray. Everyone has different qualities and different flaws. In fact, through our life, we go through so many phases - we make mistakes, we behave irrationally, we learn, we unlearn, we metamorphose into purer, and more complete human beings. By packaging people in adjectives, are we not stunting their growth, just as we are stunting our own? Why do we choose to harbor such myopic views about people, so quickly? Why don't we give them a benefit of doubt?

Point to ponder, Stranger?

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